Beautiful Shinigami
by coldfiredragon
Summary: A Preventer mission goes wrong and Heero is killed while the others watch. Will the new emotional trauma destroy Duo's sanity or will he use it to become Lady Une's new perfect soldier? 1x2 3x4, rated for character death, violence, language
1. Love Lost is Never Regained

**Author's Notes:**

**Timeline: This is set about 3 years after Endless Waltz. The boys are 19-20 and Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei have been in the Preventers since the end of that war. **

**Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, Wufei/Sally **

**Summary: A Preventer mission goes wrong and Heero is killed while the other pilots watch. Will the new emotional trauma destroy Duo's sanity completely or will he use it to become Commander Une's new perfect soldier?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Gundam Wing.**

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Life partners were not allowed to work on the same missions. It was one of the most prominent rules in the Preventer handbook. It was a good rule -- one that was supposed to make situations like this just not happen. Wufei's glanced over at Duo then over at Trowa, then finally down towards the floor where their captors were trying to get the information they wanted out of Heero. The former Wing-Zero pilot had been restrained inches above the floor by cuffs around his wrists and he had officially passed the point where he was capable of retaliating some time ago. He was lucky he was still alive at all and Wufei wondered which of them their captors would torture next if they did manage to kill him, and he also wondered how Duo would handle losing his lover.

In all fairness it wasn't Duo or Heero's fault that they had both ended up here at the same time. Duo and Trowa had been tracking a narcotics ring and he and Heero had been put on an assignment to eliminate a group of sex traffickers. The two missions had collided in this warehouse. They had been tracking two arms of the same organization without realizing it. Trowa and Duo had investigated the building first but their captors had been ready for them and had used the drugs at their disposal to incapacitate the two former pilots. Their capture had complicated matters significantly when he and Heero had shown up a day later and they had found themselves captured as well without being able to put up much of a fight.

Wufei shifted in discomfort and hung his head for a moment. His back ached but the restraints he had woken up afforded him very little flexibility and he silently cursed their captors for having used a spreader bar with wrist restraints instead of something more traditional. The three of them might have been capable of escaping something more traditional. He looked back at Duo and mentally cursed again. The braided ex-pilot looked terrible, not that Wufei could blame him, if he was watching them do to Sally what Duo was watching them do to Heero then he suspected that he wouldn't look well either. He wanted to do something, anything to make it end but they were restrained and well guarded.

A sickening crack resonated through the air and Wufei saw Duo flinch as a tiny, though quickly silenced, cry escaped Heero's lips. Wufei closed his eyes and tried to keep his emotions under control as he repeatedly told himself that he had to admire Heero's resolve. They had just broken his knee and he hadn't screamed. He forced his gaze back to the floor and his stomach rolled as he saw the blood streaming down Heero's leg and the hint of white where the bone had ripped through the skin.

"Tell us how much the Preventers know about our operations!" Wufei closed his eyes and shook his head a little as the question was once again shouted in Heero's face. Did these imbeciles know nothing? Did they not realize that an agent like Yuy wasn't going to tell them what they wanted just because they broke a few of his bones? Wasn't it obvious that the Preventors knew enough already if four of their agents had ended up in the same location? It would only be a matter of time before Quatre and Une knew that something was wrong and the whole building filled with backup agents. Heero spat in the man's face and Wufei almost smiled. A soft pained laugh, tinged with the slightest edge of hysteria made him look back at Duo.

"He's a goddamn idiot." He heard the young man whisper. Wufei was pretty sure he was talking about Heero.

"You fool! I can get what I want out of the others. I don't need you." The baseball bat that had broken Heero's knee connected with Heero's side and Wufei watched as Duo turned his face against his shoulder and closed his eyes. He whispered something to himself and a couple rogue tears raced down his cheeks before the brunette forced his gaze back up. He appeared determined to watch even if it was killing him inside. Wufei forced his gaze back as well and momentarily closed his eyes at the sight. Why was he being so weak? Heero was his partner. He should be honoring his sacrifice and admiring his strength instead of looking away. The baseball bat was thrown across the room and Wufei winced as he heard the metallic clang it made as it hit the grimy cement floor. The sound of a gun being cocked forced his gaze back to Heero and his mouth went dry as he found his partner's interrogator holding a pistol inches from Heero's forehead. "Any last words Kid?"

"_Ai shiteru._ I'm sorry." Heero's head was held high and he was glaring down the gun barrel but his words were undeniably meant for the the young man he had chosen to spend his life with. Duo stiffened beside him and Wufei glanced worriedly at the other Preventer as he prayed that it wasn't the first time that Duo had heard Heero say he loved him. The American hung his head and whispered something that neither Wufei or Trowa could hear. Every muscle in his body was tense and he jerked when the pistol fired, then jerked again when a second shot pierced the air.. Wufei forced himself to look and wished he hadn't. Bile rolled in his stomach and it took all his control to not vomit. He would have continued staring had soft laughter not forced his gaze back to Duo.

The former Deathscythe pilot's face was buried against his knees and he was laughing. It was an eerie broken sound and Wufei realized that he would rather hear him screaming. He looked helplessly at Trowa. His gaze asking silently if losing Heero meant that they had just lost Duo too. The other young man was staring intently at Duo with an ashen look on his face.

"Make him stop." The bravest of the four guards that had been positioned around them were getting uncomfortable and Wufei scooted closer to his friend and leaned his shoulder down to nudge Duo's.

"Stop it Maxwell! Have you lost your goddamn mind?" He glanced back at the guards, at the machine guns in their hands. "DUO!" He hissed angrily. The idiot was going to get all of them killed.

"I'll shoot him if he doesn't stop."

"Du..."

"Go ahead. You'll be doing yourself a favor." Duo's head didn't leave his knees and Wufei swallowed hard, wondering what the hell Duo was talking about.

"Go ahead if you're going to do it." Duo twisted to look at the man and he grinned a little when the guy took a step back. "I would kill me before I get the chance to kill you." His voice wasn't right. It was low and raspy and hollow, almost completely devoid of emotion save for the hint of something that said 'not only will I kill you but I will take pleasure in it.' Wufei also noted that his friend's eyes weren't right. Something was gone from them. There was no spark of warmth and their vibrant violet color now seemed empty and lifeless. The guard was clearly shaken by the force of Duo's glare and Wufei could see the end of the man's gun shaking slightly. "Do it!" Duo taunted quietly. "Or are you too damn chicken to shoot a sitting duck?"

"That's enough." The guard seemed to have regained some of his sense and he took a threatening step forward, then as his courage increased he took another -- which put him in Duo's range.

"Stupid fool." Duo whispered softly, then he moved and pulled his hands hard against the metal restraints. Double jointed fingers flexed and his slim hands slipped free of the cuffs. In one fluid motion that was somehow the perfect mixture of Heero's emotionless precision and Trowa's agility he dropped his now free hands to the floor and braced himself before swinging his legs up. The heavy metal bar binding his ankles collided with the guard's jaw and Wufei heard the man's neck break as the blow was carried through with all the force Duo could put behind it. The gun slipped from dead lifeless fingers and Duo didn't miss a beat as he scooped it out of the air and aimed. A short quick burst of bullets took the second guard down and both he and Trowa were forced to duck as best they could as Duo swung around and aimed for the other two. They were so shocked by the sudden turn of events that they didn't even get a shot off before they were dead.

"Duo?" There was a slight hint of awe and a healthy dose of fear in Trowa's voice and they could hear shouts and the pounding of feet on the metal stairs as reinforcements raced towards them. Wufei swallowed his own fear. They were going to be in trouble in a couple moments, and most likely dead.

The unexpected sound of glass breaking above them and wood splintering below made him look up and he almost grinned as the first agents poured in through the windows and lower floor doors. Duo tossed the gun aside and rolled close enough to grab the keys from the first guard he had downed. The bar binding his ankles came free a moment later and he had just enough time to scoop the gun back up. He didn't have to use it again though. Une and Quatre had pulled every available agent for this mission and almost immediately the building was secure. The Preventers rounded up their captors quickly and Duo retrieved the keys from where he had dropped them and set to work on releasing he and Trowa from their restraints.

"Maxwell?" The braided agent wouldn't meet his eyes when he tried to speak to him and Wufei started to rub circulation back into his wrists when they were finally freed. He wanted to reach out and touch his friend's shoulder, to try offer some measure of comfort but before he could get the chance Duo had finished freeing his ankles and moved to help Trowa. He didn't speak to either of them. He wouldn't look either of them in the eye. He didn't even look up when they heard Quatre calling them.

"Trowa! Duo! Wufei" The small blond was racing up the stairs towards them, a frantic expression on his face and Wufei could tell just from the look in his eyes that already knew about Heero, not that he could have really missed the display below them. The little blond had felt it, just like he felt everything that was related to their emotions. Wufei wondered what the small blond was feeling from Duo. The former Deathscythe pilot stood as Quatre got closer and side stepped the blond when Quatre tried to hug him. His hand tightened into a fist at his side and Wufei saw the light flash off the gleaming black metal band around his finger.

"Don't touch me." He whispered desperately. He brought the hand that wasn't clenched in a fist up and wrapped the fingers of that hand tight around his arm. He almost looked like he was hugging himself. He took a step back from Quatre and looked down towards the floor of the warehouse where a group of Preventers were working on getting Heero's body down. He hung his head and his bangs shadowed his eyes. "I did it again." He whispered softly to himself. The young man shivered violently and his fingers tightened around his arm, his nails digging painfully into the soft flesh. "I never should have let you love me. I should have known I would take you too – should have known that no one can love Shinigami and survive."

"Duo don't say that!" Quatre tried to step into Duo's space but the brunette simply took another step back.

"I said not to touch me!." He took another step back and found himself pressed against the railing of the catwalk. "I never should have stayed at all. I should have kept going, shouldn't have let anybody get close. I knew it was only a matter of time." Wufei realized Duo was talking to himself again and he watched wordlessly as Duo dropped his arm back to his side. The young man was shivering as he reached for the rail behind him and he didn't give a hint of warning before his body twisted and he jumped over it. His body fell gracefully and he dropped to the ground ten feet below them without barely making a sound. He didn't look in Heero's direction again before he made a beeline for the nearest door.

"DUO WAIT!" Wufei watched as Quatre turned to head for the stairs. He was determined to follow there friend and a dissatisfied cry escaped his lips as Trowa stopped him and pulled him close. "Trowa let me go!" The blond pounded weakly on his lover's chest in an attempt to force the taller young man to let him go. "I have to go after Duo!" He cried softly. "I can't feel him!" He almost sobbed. Trowa hugged him tight and Quatre stopped resisting so he could tremble and cry in is lover's arms.

Wufei watched them in silence as his mind reeled and he struggled to understand how things had fallen apart so easily. His gaze shifted towards the warehouse floor and the young man couldn't help but shiver as he saw the white sheet that had been draped over Heero's body and on the red stain that had slowly spread across it. His hand tightened into a fist and he tried to banish the sound of Duo's laughter from his mind. He prayed that Duo hadn't snapped. The last thing he wanted was to hunt down a friend. It would only serve to break them more.

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**So what did you all think? Reviews would be wonderful, constructive criticism will be readily welcomed and appreciated. I really want to know what everyone thinks of the setup. I'm also curious to see what direction you guys think/hope I will take with this story. **


	2. Acceptance and Resignation

**Author's Notes:**

**Timeline: This is set about 3 years after Endless Waltz. The boys are 19-20 and Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei have been in the Preventers since the end of that war. **

**Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, Wufei/Sally **

**Summary: A Preventer mission goes wrong and Heero is killed while the other pilots watch. Will the new emotional trauma destroy Duo's sanity completely or will he use it to become Commander Une's new perfect soldier.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Gundam Wing.**

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Lady Une was furious as she stormed down the hallway in the direction of her office. She could not believe the disastrous chain of events that had unfolded in the last three days. She had one dead agent, one AWOL agent, and two other agents that were struggling desperately to deal with the loss while trying to persuade her to avoid launching an all out search for Maxwell. It was infuriating. At least Trowa and Wufei's stories matched. Wufei hadn't known that he and Heero would be walking into a situation that had already been compromised and Trowa had assured her that he and Duo hadn't known that their missions had such direct ties to another.

None of it should have ever happened. She was going to have to be more careful making sure missions didn't overlap, especially missions where the agents were already involved with one another. Her hands tightened into little fists as she swept into the bull-pin outside her office. She needed to find him. She had required all the pilots to undergo psych evaluations before she had allowed them to join the Preventers and Maxwell was the least stable of the five – though she had been assured that the strong support of his friends would keep him in check, that Heero would keep him in check. With Heero gone the teenager was the one in the greatest danger of suffering a mental break. She hated to say it but he was a liability. Heero... why had it been Heero? The pair had lived together and loved each other quietly for years but the two had only been married a few short months. It wasn't exactly a secret but they hadn't really made the news public either. She shuddered slightly. The idea of the young Shinigami losing himself to grief and going rogue terrified her.

Her eyes narrowed at the thought as she marched through the bull-pin. Interns scurried out of her way in desperation and she barely noticed them and when she finally did notice how silent the people around her were she made no effort to calm them down. "Get back to work. All of you." She growled softly. She tried very hard to keep her temper in check most of the time but the situation that presented itself before her was unprecedented. It was not just that she had lost an agent. She had lost numerous agents over the years and each death was difficult. Each death was another name she had to add to her list. Mister Trieze had kept a list. He had always known exactly how many of his soldiers had died for him. It was only fair that she do the same.

It wasn't the loss of an agent that bothered her so much as who the agent she had lost was. In the years that Duo and Heero had been with the Preventers she had expected to lose Duo first, not Heero. He had been the best agent she had under her command and losing him was a crippling emotional blow to the remaining Gundam Pilots. The pain and shock they were experiencing was rapidly trickling down through the Preventers hierarchy and was unavoidably effecting every agent it touched. His death was putting every single person in the building on edge. They all knew that someone irreplaceable had been lost and they were all mourning that loss in their own way.

_//At least the death hasn't been leaked to the media yet.//_ She thought silently. It was only a matter of time though, then she would have a whole new circus to contend with. The death of a Gundam pilot, of the most well known Gundam pilot, would send a shock wave through both the earth sphere and the colonies. She grabbed the handle of her office door with an unnecessary amount of force and twisted the handle viciously, feeling powerless and weak despite her position. The door opened easily and she stepped into the dark cool space and closed the door behind her. She realized immediately that it was too cold and her head shot up to glare out the open window, then she noticed the chestnut braid draped over the back of her visitor's chair and the pair of boots that were propped on her desk.

"Maxwell." To say she was relieved was an understatement. He had come to her instead of forcing her to launch a search for him. She crossed the room to close the window as Duo stood and she noted as she turned to face him that there was a manilla folder in his hand. His stance was tense and guarded and his black ball cap was pulled low over his violet eyes. He looked up at her briefly as she rounded her desk to sit in her chair then refused to meet her gaze again.

"Commander." His voice was raspy and pained and sounded like it hadn't been used at all in the two days since he had disappeared. He didn't look like he had slept at all either. Lady Une wanted to stay mad at him. He had broken numerous organizational protocols when he had left the scene without being cleared to and he had put her on the brink of launching a massive search that would have eaten up valuable Preventer resources. Regardless of her anger what she saw before her was a scared lonely kid who had just had the life he had worked so hard to rebuild ripped away from him.

"Sit down Duo." She found herself saying with surprising gentleness.

"Commander... I..." He fell silent for a long moment but didn't sit. Finally he reached forward to lay the folder on her desk so she could open it. The black ring on his finger caught her eye as he did so and she was momentarily captivated by the way the polished gundanium band caught even the faintest light. "My incident report. Commander." He said after a moment's pause.

"Your incident report?" Lady Une repeated. "So soon?" She looked at the young man critically for a moment. Duo was notorious for not being on time with his his paperwork. She was still waiting for incident reports from the rest of the pilots.

"Yes commander." He shifted uncomfortably under her scrutiny but refused to actually look up and meet her gaze.

"Sit while I review it." Une told him. She made the words more of a command this time and was grateful when he sank into the chair without a word. She turned on the lamp and opened the folder so she could begin reading. She did not make it far before she noticed him unconsciously rubbing one of the piercings in his ear. "Are you alright Maxwell?" She asked tersely. His hand immediately dropped to his lap. He did not touch the earring again until she had finished reading and set the report aside. It told her nothing she did not already know and it matched what she had been told by Wufei and Trowa. It also matched what little she had seen of the surveillance footage from the warehouse. There was another piece of paper in the folder and she turned it over and skimmed it. "I will not accept this at this time." She told him calmly. She replaced the resignation letter and the report in the folder and closed it.

"Commander Une!" He was on his feet in a moment, one hand tight at his side while the other slammed down hard on her desk. She got the first good look at his eyes when he glared down at her and noted how cold they were. "It's not your choice." He growled softly.

"I'm sorry about Heero. I know that he meant a great deal to you but I don't believe you have had adequate time or counseling to make this decision."

"Meant a great deal? I _married _him Commander." Duo hissed softly. "And now he's dead because of it." Lady Une listened to him in silence and clasped her hands under her chin as she watched him.

"Nothing in your report, the preliminary reports of the other Gundam pilots, or the warehouse surveillance footage indicates that you were responsible for Heero's death Duo." She said patiently. She understood survivor's guilt. She had experienced it to an extent herself after Mister Treize's death. She reached out and laid her hand over his only to have him jerk it away. "What happened is not your fault. The actions you took to protect the rest of your friends were honorable and commendable but there was nothing you could have done differently that would have saved Heero's life without endangering your own."

"You don't know a goddamn thing." Duo growled angrily. He dropped back into the chair wrapped his arms around his torso. His shivered uncontrollably "I'm Shinigami remember? I destroy everything I touch, everything I love. It's my curse." He absently rubbed the black hoop that pierced his earlobe again and looked up at her briefly. There was a pained glitter in his violet eyes and he almost immediately looked away. The sight made Une realize that no amount of counseling was going to change Duo's opinion of himself. The young man truly believed he lived a cursed existence and that death hung over him like a specter no matter where he went or what he tried to do to escape it. Maybe she could use his attitude to her advantage, not immediately perhaps, but maybe when he was a little more emotionally stable.

"I know enough." She told him calmly. "You are hurting. It is understandable and expected considering what you witnessed. I am going to be generous. The protocols you broke by leaving the warehouse would normally require corrective action. I'm going to dismiss them. I'm also going to give you sixteen weeks paid leave instead of the normal twelve and have you attend a counseling session sometime within the next seven days. You are _not _cleared to leave earth until after that evaluation." She paused briefly to let that sink in and noted that he seemed to stunned to protest. "If the evaluation clears you then I will clear you for inter-planetary travel. Should you choose to spend the duration of your leave in the colonies then I will require an address and contact information. You will be expected to appear at the end of your leave and if you still stand firm on your decision to resign then I will accept it." She watched him steadily and silently dared him to try and reject her terms.

"That is very generous Commander." He said softly. He slumped in the chair with a slight shiver and Lady Une felt genuinely sorry for him, for the burden he had to carry at such a young age, and for the choices she was going to have to ask him to make in the next few moments.

"Sally has Heero's personal effects ready whenever you feel up to retrieving them. As Heero's next of kin you must also make a few decisions about how you would like to proceed with the funeral arrangements. I've done the best I can to keep news of his death a secret but the press will get wind of it anytime and it would be best to have as much planned as possible before they do."

"Oh god." Duo shuddered violently as he leaned forward to rest his forehead on his knees. "I hadn't even thought about the funeral." He whispered miserably. Sympathy overtook Lady Une upon hearing his words and she stood. He flinched when she touched his shoulder but she refused to let that stop her. This young man was one of her agents and as his commander it was her responsibility to help him through his emotional trials to the best of her ability. Mister Treize would have had it no other way if he was under his command.

"I have time to accompany you if you wish to speak to Sally now." She said gently. Her words made him look up at her and at the hand on his shoulder.

"Please don't touch me." He said softly as he moved to stand and before she could protest he had stepped out of her range. "If you have time I would appreciate it." He told her awkwardly. The former pilot glanced at the door to her office in silence and looked reluctant about having to walk through it and face what he had been avoiding.

"I have time for my men." Une assured him. She walked to the door and opened it, then waited in silence for him to follow her. A brief flurry of whispers erupted in the bull-pin as her staff realized that a Gundam pilot had been in her office without them knowing but they were easily silenced by her glare. "There is nothing to see here." She told them icily as Duo followed her through the bull-pin and down the hall. There was nothing to see but a broken nineteen year old boy who, in a few moments, was going to have to make choices that no one should have to make at his age. It was not the first time she cursed the cruel destiny that fate seemed to have laid out for the former Gundam pilots and she had the feeling it would not be the last.

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**Reviews and comments would be appreciated. This was my first time writing Lady Une and I tried to balance her attitude like they did in the series so she could be severe when she needed to be but not completely heartless either. What did you guys think of her? Did I get her right? Do you have suggestions that will help me write her better? **

**Chapter Preview: Lady Une accompanies Duo to the morgue where they meet with Sally and what should be a quiet goodbye between Duo and Heero turns out to be anything but when Relena shows up with her own ideas in mind for Heero's funeral. **


	3. Phantom Shadows on the Floor

**Author's Notes:**

**Timeline: This is set about 3 years after Endless Waltz. The boys are 19-20 and Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei have been in the Preventers since the end of that war. **

**Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, Wufei/Sally **

**Summary: A Preventer mission goes wrong and Heero is killed while the other pilots watch. Will the new emotional trauma destroy Duo's sanity completely or will he use it to become Commander Une's new perfect soldier.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Gundam Wing.**

Words in _//italics// _are Duo's internal thoughts

* * *

The elevator felt too small and Duo pressed himself against the back corner of it and concentrated on the hand rails as they dug into his spine. He did not want to be doing this and he wondered how his simple plan of sneaking into Lady Une's office, handing over his resignation, then catching the next shuttle off earth had gotten so easily derailed. His violet eyed gaze shifted to the woman in front of him and he swallowed. Commander Une did not intimidate him. He had lost too much in losing Heero to let her intimidate him any longer. He just wanted to go... and lose himself. Unfortunately to lose himself the way he wanted to he would have to cut the majority of his ties and he needed this woman's permission to do that. They would come looking for him otherwise.

_//You just want Heero's ring Kid.// _Duo rubbed his ear in frustration as the words echoed through his mind then forced his hand back to his side. He needed to stop the habit before it could become a habit. People would start questioning him about it if they saw him rubbing his ear too often and he was pretty sure they wouldn't take kindly to the news that he was hearing Deathscythe's voice again. The former pilot wrapped his hands around the elevator rails instead and closed his eyes for a moment as he thought about what exactly that idea meant to him. He was not insane. He knew that much. The slight mental fracture was a coping mechanism he had developed early during Professor G's training. Space was just too lonely and cold and Deathscythe's cockpit too small. It had helped to have someone to talk to, especially on the training missions where G had forced to stay in the cockpit for days without radio contact. Talking to and bonding with the machine had helped him _stay _sane.

The elevator chimed as the doors slid open and he silently forced himself away from the wall and moved to follow Lady Une onto the floor. They stepped into the hall together and Duo's nose crinkled as the smell of disinfectant assaulted his senses. He hated hospitals and he did not understand how Sally could stand to work down here.

"How do you intend to spend the duration of your leave?" Lady Une did not look back at him as she spoke but her voice carried clearly despite the bit of distance between them. She was trying to feel out where he stood emotionally and Duo knew that his answers would help determine how she treated him in the long run.

"I'll be working with Howard and the Sweeper group he has based out of L2." The older man was always looking for competent mechanics, technical engineers, and pilots. He qualified easily for all three and Howard had extended an open ended invitation to both he and Heero if they ever chose to leave the Preventers. It seemed like a good fit and Howard would let him work alone for the most part. He wouldn't _need _to rely on anyone if he didn't want to. The work would let him bounce from colony to colony doing odd jobs without forming lasting relationships that he would unavoidably destroy no matter what he did to protect them.

"You've spoken to him already?"

"Not yet." He was reasonably sure Howard would take him in again but not positive, and if the man wouldn't he would find something else. There was no way he was staying on earth though, that was for certain. Duo shoved his hands down into the pockets of his black jeans and looked at the floor as they continued walking. He could feel eyes of the various medical staff and patients on him as they passed offices and exam rooms but he couldn't bring himself to meet their gazes. He did not want to see the pity he knew he would see written across their faces.

"Sally?" Lady Une had stopped in front of the woman's office and gently tapped on the door as she spoke. Duo heard someone shuffling around inside and a moment later the door opened.

"Commander what do you need .... Duo." The woman's face softened at the sight of him and she didn't seem entirely surprised to see him. "Let the others know how you're holding up okay?" Duo expected her to say more but she seemed content with the 'less is more' approach. She didn't try to hug him, she didn't start crying, and Duo was silently grateful to her for not making a fuss over him. "Have you made any decisions about what you would like to do about the funeral?" She asked softly.

"No." Duo muttered bitterly, despite all the people he had lost in his life he had never been old enough before to actually influence what happened to any of them. He knew if this had happened on one of the colonies then cremation would be the only option available. There just wasn't space available for burials and there was a sanitation issue that came into play when the colony's water supply was constantly recycled, especially when the colony was in as bad shape as L2 had been. He shuddered involuntarily at the memory of drinking dirty rain water to survive and wondered for the millionth time why he was planning to go back _there _of all places.

_//L2's home.//_ The words rang in his head with a force that they made him stop and another shudder rippled down his spine. _//Yeah it is.// _He agreed soberly. The silent admission made him feel impossibly cold and he noted that both Lady Une and Sally had stopped and were watching him. Duo forced his gaze up and met Sally's eyes for the briefest of moments. "As if I actually have any options right?." The words were laced with bitter cheekiness and were posed to both acknowledge the voice in his head as well as express what he thought his options were for Heero's funeral. He was going to have to have Heero cremated, just like everyone else he had loved in his life. The idea made his skin crawl

"Of course you do Duo! You have several options." Sally crossed her arms over her chest and glanced at the floor for a moment. "If you were living in the colonies you wouldn't but since you've been living on earth for so long you do. You can have a traditional funeral and have him buried or you can choose to have him cremated. It's what _you _want." She said as gently as possible.

"I don't... I don't know." Duo whispered softly. He felt tears well in his eyes and he stubbornly fought them back down. He was not going to let himself cry in front of his boss and the wife of one of his best friends. He couldn't._. //What do you really want Kid?//_ "I just want him _back_." He murmured softly and immediately hated himself for saying the words aloud. They couldn't figure out he was talking to himself. They would think he had lost it for sure.

"Oh Duo." Sally reached out and caught his hand in a surprisingly strong grip. "You don't have to make the choice by yourself if you don't want to. Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa will help you if you ask them to."

"I don't want their help!" Duo growled. He tugged his hand out of hers with a force akin to desperation. "I don't want to hurt them too!" Didn't anybody understand that he was going to destroy all the good things in his life? That he was trying to make sure it didn't happen?

"Duo! They care about you."

"Well I don't care about them!" He regretted the words the instant they escaped his lips and he looked up at Sally with wide helpless violet eyes as he tried to find the power to take them back. _//Way to go Kid.// _Duo wanted to scream at the voice to shut up but he struggled for something to say that would take away some of the blow's force instead. "He...Heero..." His husband's name stuck in his throat and his eyes watered again. "Heero wasn't supposed to die Sally. He survived everything the war threw at us... I... I thought he could survive my curse too and I lost him like it was nothing. Quatre, Trowa, Wufei... if I lost Heero that easily then the rest of them don't have a chance. I don't want Trowa and Quatre to know what I'm going through, or for you and Meiran to lose Fei because of me, because he was my partner and I screwed up." The mention of her daughter made Sally's face harden for a moment then she sighed painfully and shook her head.

"It's your choice Duo but they aren't going to stop loving you just because you push them away."

"They should. They'll live longer." He turned away and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration then crossed his arms over is chest and shuddered. "I just want to say goodbye to Heero and get his ring." He looked back at the two women pleadingly. He would never forgive himself if he didn't get it back "Please?" He asked imploringly. That was all he wanted. It was small enough that he would be able to keep it no matter where he ended up. "I don't know what I want to do about the funeral yet. Just lemme say goodbye first?"

"Of course Duo." Lady Une told him softly. "Sally?"

"Right." The blond looked like she wanted to say more about his relationship with the other pilots but she seemed to realize that right now it was the last thing he wanted to hear and led them down the hall to the morgue. She unlocked the door with her key and Duo shuddered as he passed through the door behind her. Every survival instinct he had cultured since he was a child was screaming at him to run but the adult in him was being reasonable for a change and forcing him to stay. "Here it is Duo." Sally whispered softly. Duo's gaze immediately snapped up and fixated on the silver chain and ring in Sally's hand.

"Heero." His lover's name rose unbidden from his throat and he tried to walk on feet that were suddenly numb and clumsy. He stumbled forward and caught himself on the exam table. The complete lack of grace in his movements almost made him burst into tears again and he suddenly couldn't breathe when his fingers finally closed around the chain. The metal links and heavy Gundanium ring felt ice cold in his hand. Duo was so used to them being warm when he touched them because Heero never took them off. He always had the ring on his finger when they were home or on the chain under his shirt when he was on a mission. Duo felt cold all over just holding it now and he didn't realize he was talking till he heard the words ringing off the morgue's metal walls.

"It was Heero's' idea to have our rings made out the leftover scrap from our Gundams." He found himself whispering softly. "As a positive way of remembering what we had gone through to be together." He rubbed his hand across his eyes and was surprised to find them dry. "I was such an idiot to think it would actually last."

"No you weren't Duo. The war has been over for years. You had ever reason to want to be happy together." Sally insisted firmly.

"I'm Shinigami. I don't deserve to be happy. I let myself forget that and this is my reminder." Duo clipped the chain around his neck then tucked the ring under his shirt. The metal was still frigid and the coldness pulled at his heart almost painfully. His gaze flitted momentarily along the wall of drawers and easily found the one with Heero's name written on it. "Can you guys leave?" He asked softly. He wanted to say goodbye alone if they would let him.

"I don't think that's a good...."

"You can have all the time you need Duo. Sally and I will be in her office when you are ready."

"Thank you Commander." Duo murmured softly. Sally seemed ready to continue protesting but Lady Une took her arm and guided her out. Within moments the morgue was eerily silent and Duo found himself alone to make a goodbye he still couldn't fathom making. He just didn't know how, or what to say, or how to say it and it weighed on him horribly.

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**As always reviews and constructive crit are welcome. They really help me with the writing process.**

**I know I promised a confrontation with Relena this chapter but the exchange with Sally and Lady Une ran so long I just couldn't fit it. What do you guys think of the chapter length I'm going for? I think between 2000-2500 words per chapter is about right. Should they be longer? Shorter? Let me know what you think.**

**Chapter Preview: Duo tries to say goodbye only to be interrupted by Relena's unexpected arrival. **

**ALSO! 10 points to your Hogwarts House if anyone can tell me the musical from which I took the title for this chapter from. **


	4. I Just Want to Be the One You Love

**Author's Notes:**

**Timeline: This is set about 3 years after Endless Waltz. The boys are 19-20 and Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei have been in the Preventers since the end of that war. **

**Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, Wufei/Sally **

**Summary: A Preventer mission goes wrong and Heero is killed while the other pilots watch. Will the new emotional trauma destroy Duo's sanity completely or will he use it to become Commander Une's new perfect soldier.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Gundam Wing.**

Words in _//italics// _are internal thoughts

_**'GWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWG'** _That line represents a perspective switch. When you see that line of text that is what it means.

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"I'm sorry Vice Foreign Minister but I'll need to see your credentials and security pass before I can grant you access to the upper floor offices. It's regulation."

"But I already explained to you that I left them at home." Relena insisted softly and reasonably. She was trying to be diplomatic about the situation despite her mood but the security agent preventing her from going beyond the lobby of the Preventer's Headquarters was making things especially difficult. "Get Commander Une on the phone." She suddenly demanded. Lady Une would deal with this annoyance in a heart beat.

"As you wish." Relena crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot in irritated annoyance as the woman placed the call and tried desperately not to think about Heero. He couldn't be dead but then Quatre would never lie to her, at least not about something so important. Regardless, she couldn't completely believe it until she saw his body for herself. "I am sorry Vice Foreign Minister. The commander is in a meeting at the moment."

"Then tell them to get her out of it." Relena snapped. The woman relayed her message and shook her head a moment later then hung up the phone.

"I'm sorry ma'am. There is nothing they can do."

"You have got to be kidding me! Since when does the Commander of the Preventers not have time for the Vice Foreign Minister of the Earth Sphere United Nation!" Relena cried indignantly. She felt her eyes water and rubbed at them for a long moment. This was beyond frustrating. She wiped at her eyes a final time and glared at the woman, a woman who apparently didn't care who she was or about what she could do if she decided to bring her influence to bear. "I have clearance to be here!" She continued angrily.

"I believe that you do but without proof of that clearance I am not allowed to let you go past this point."

"Then try and get either Wufei Chang or Trowa Barton to come down here and vouch for me." The security agent sighed in frustration but obediently dialed an extension and waited for a response.

**GWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWG**

The phone on his desk trilled annoyingly and Wufei sighed in irritation before plucking it off its cradle and settling it between his cheek and shoulder. "Chang." He growled in irritation. He listened to the woman on the other end and his normally calm face twisted in a disapproving scowl. "I'll be down in a few moments." He muttered icily. The phone was returned to its cradle with more force then was absolutely necessary and for a long moment Wufei remained seated and simply stared at it. He did not want to deal with an emotional Relena Darlian so soon after Heero's death. The woman had to be in an absolute state of despair if she had been stupid enough to forget her security passes.

_//Who even told her?//_ Wufei asked himself silently. The news of Heero's death hadn't yet been broken to the media … Quatre. It had to have been Quatre. Wufei pushed his chair back and winced as it scrapped loudly against the floor and echoed through his now half-empty office. Yuy might never have said much but his presence had always been welcome and in its own way comforting. He marched out of the room and across the hall and pounded briefly on the door to Trowa's office before turning the knob and pushing it open anyway.

"Wufei?" Trowa's ever soft voice only served to ignite Wufei's slowly building anger

"Quatre told Darlian didn't he?" Wufei demanded immediately.

"She deserved to find out from one of us instead of hearing about it from another source." Trowa said quietly. His gaze darted around the office he shared with Duo and he sighed. "He was trying to wait for Duo to come back but then decided that Lady Une might not be able to keep what happened a secret much longer.

"She is going to find out about them now." Wufei growled. Trowa glanced at Duo's desk and then reached across it to pick up one of the framed pictures that sat precariously at the edge of the clutter. He looked at it for a moment and Wufei had the chance to glance at it as well before Trowa laid it face down. It was one he recognized immediately as one of the pictures taken at Duo and Heero's wedding.

The ceremony had been held at Quatre's smallest estate and there had been less then a dozen people people in attendance. His friends had convinced Commander Une to officiate and the wedding had consisted of little more then an exchange of rings, a champagne toast, and a few pictures. Duo and Heero had slipped away almost immediately afterward for their honeymoon and it had been heavily implied by the size of the ceremony that they did not want a big deal made about their union. They had not released a statement of any kind and Heero had gone out of his way to personally ask everyone who had been in attendance to not relay the news of it to Relena – a gesture that had absolutely delighted Duo.

"I know." Trowa sighed and lifted the picture to look at it again and Wufei could briefly see sadness flicker across his normally emotionless face. "They should have made it official years ago." He said finally. "Like Quatre and I did." He went back to contemplating the picture. "They wouldn't have regretted it."

"They had too many things standing in their way to do it sooner." Wufei reached for the picture and examined the happy couple that stared back at him. "If Yuy hadn't wasted so much time trailing Darlian around like a puppy it would have happened sooner. She's down in the lobby now by the way." He muttered bitterly. "She forgot her security pass and needs someone to act as her escort.

"If you would like I can..."

"No." Wufei did not even let the other young man finish. "I'm just going to escort her to the Commander's office and let Une deal with her." Trowa nodded in silent acceptance and Wufei replaced the photo before leaving the office. He adjusted his uniform on the way to the elevator and a few moments later was stepping into the lobby.

"Finally. It took you long enough Chang." He heard Darlian's exaggerated cry from all the way across the lobby and gave the poor guard a sympathetic look before turning narrowed eyes in Relena's direction.

"I will take responsibility for her." He muttered as he motioned for Relena to follow him. He jabbed the elevator button furiously and ushered the emotional woman into it before following her and jabbing the button to close the doors before anyone else could follow them. He punched the button for Lady Une's floor and leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and his head down. To anyone else it was quite clear that he was not in a mood to speak but Relena had never been good at reading any of them.

"So Heero is really dead?"

"Yes." He refused to look at her, hoping she would take the hint and not ask any more questions.

"How?" She demanded.

"He was tortured then shot." Wufei was not in the mood to be gentle with her, not when Duo was hiding from the world and undoubtedly letting his grief destroy him. He had known since their imprisonment on the moon base that Duo was in love with Heero and he had learned when they were working together on Peace-Million that Heero felt the same for Duo. In his mind he saw Relena as the main obstacle that had held them apart after the war's end. She had tried very hard to keep Heero close to her in hopes that he would fall for her and had apparently never realized that Heero's heart belonged to someone else.

"Did he... did he say anything about me before he died?" Wufei could hear tears building behind Relena's words and his gaze shot up in disbelief. How deep did this woman's delusion run exactly?

"I can guarantee that you were the _last _person Heero was thinking about." He hissed icily. His eyes were narrowed slits of barely repressed fury and it took every ounce of self control to keep from screaming at her.

"How would you know that?" Relena cried in disbelief.

"Because I knew Heero better then you did." Wufei snapped. The bell chimed as the elevator door slid open and Wufei said nothing more to her as he stormed out into the hall in the direction of Commander Une's secretary. "Is the Commander in?" He growled at the young man behind the desk.

"She left a little bit ago and is in a meeting."

"The Vice Foreign Minister is going to wait in her office then." Wufei growled. The secretary tried to stop him but Wufei swept past him and ushered Relena into the office. He waited in the door till the woman was seated. "I'm sure the Commander will find time for you soon enough." He told her as he stepped back out and closed the door behind him.

**GWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWG**

Relena sat in her chair in stunned silence for a long moment then looked around the empty office. She did not understand why Wufei had been so hostile towards her then reminded herself that Wufei had never been the most social of the five pilots. He was also probably upset about Heero, something she could not blame him for. She fidgeted in her chair and huffed in annoyance. Where was Lady Une? There were so many things that needed to be done so Heero could be given the funeral he deserved.

The young man was a symbol of the peace that the Earth and colonies now shared and had chosen to remain a preserver of that peace when he could have given up on fighting and settled down. It was only fair that he be honored in a grand fashion. The news of his death should have been made public immediately so dignitaries representing both the Earth Sphere United Nation and the Colonies could gather and mourn.

Relena wiped at her eyes tiredly and tried to resist the urge to cry again. Heero had been so busy with his job since he had resigned as her bodyguard that he barely ever made time for her and on the few occasions she had managed to get him to visit he had always been in the company of the other pilots. There had been a single occasion where they had been alone long enough for her to express to him how she truly felt for him – to explain that what she felt was more then just some wayward crush or wrongly placed gratitude. A few desperate tears raced down her cheeks as she thought about how she would never get to tell him she loved him.

The young woman shot out of her chair in frustration and paced to the window like a caged cat. There was no use focusing on what she had failed to do. Heero was dead and she had to accept that. She would show him how deeply she cared for him by focusing on his funeral and making sure it was worthy of the life he had lived. Her fingers pushed a couple of the window blinds apart and she stared out over the city and let herself hate how the bright sunlight seemed oblivious to the pain in her heart. The sky should be crying and the whole of the earth should be mourning. Heero Yuy, it's savior, was dead.

Her hand tightened into a fist at her side and she let the blinds fall back into place with a metallic crinkle. There was no point in waiting for Lady Une. She knew where the morgue was and security pass in hand or not she _did _have permission to be in the Preventers Headquarters. She could say goodbye to Heero while she waited then once Lady Une was finished with her meeting they could make plans for Heero's funeral together. Relena stalked back across the office and pulled the door open.

"Do you need something Vice Foreign Minister?" Lady Une's secretary was looking at her curiously as she came out and Relena pasted a fake smile on her face.

"I'm just going to the restroom. I'll return shortly." She told him calmly. He nodded curtly and focused on his work and Relena headed on her way. A moment later she was slipping into the elevator and pressing the button labeled M1. The ride was silent, felt too long, and she was surprised when it ended without being interrupted. Her heels clicked loudly on the spotless tile and she resisted the urge to run in the direction of the morgue.

_//It won't be unlocked.// _The reasonable part of her brain told you. _//You will have come down here for nothing.//_ Relena pushed the thought aside and glanced at the closed door to Sally Chang's office as she passed it. Sally would let her in if it wasn't. A moment later she reached the morgue and steeled herself as she reached for the latch. The handle turned under her hand and she pushed the door inward with a silent sigh. Her goodbye would be now or never she supposed.

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**I love comments. They encourage me to write more so please tell me what you think.**

**The next chapter is written! I was going to make everything one big long chapter but it was almost 4000 words and I like the 2000-2500 word chapter structure I have going. I should get around to posting part 5 in the next few days so keep an eye out for it. **

**Chapter Preview: Relena walks in on Duo and the two argue until Lady Une steps in to separate them. **

Congrats to **WingedAngelGuardian **for figuring out where I took the title for the last chapter from. I don't actually have a prize in mind. I wish I did.


	5. An Emptiness Began to Grow

**Author's Notes:**

**Timeline: This is set about 3 years after Endless Waltz. The boys are 19-20 and Heero, Duo, Trowa and Wufei have been in the Preventers since the end of that war. **

**Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, Wufei/Sally **

**Summary: A Preventer mission goes wrong and Heero is killed while the other pilots watch. Will the new emotional trauma destroy Duo's sanity completely or will he use it to become Commander Une's new perfect soldier.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Gundam Wing.**

WARNING! There is quite a bit of language in this chapter! You have been warned

Comments are love guys? Can I get some? Especially for this chapter? Enjoy!

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"....The two of them are probably sitting in Sally's office right now discussing whether I've lost it or not." Duo murmured bitterly as he stretched one leg out and wrapped his hands around the bent knee of his other leg. "Can't say I blame them." The nineteen year old leaned against the metal wall behind him and glanced up at the cadaver storage unit that he sat beside. "I haven't even been able to go home yet Heero." He whispered softly. "I don't know what I'm going to do with all our stuff, its not like I'll need most of it when I head back to L2." Duo leaned forward and rested his forehead on his knee. "This isn't right you know, we were supposed to be happy. We had the rest of our damn lives ahead of us." His voice choked. "I lo...." The sound of the door being pushed open made him tense and he shot to his feet. His violet eyes widened in disbelief then narrowed in fury when he saw Relena Darlian standing in the door of the morgue. "Get out!" He hissed.

"Maxwell!" Relena had obliviously thought she would find the morgue empty and was surprised to see him. She covered her surprise quickly and crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell are you doing here?" The two of them had never really been on good terms after the wars had been said and done but they had played at being friends for the sake of their public image. The fake peace between them had ended with Heero's decision to share an apartment with him rather then move in with her and the two of them had been at odds ever since.

"I told you to get out!" Duo snapped.

"No." Relena said nastily. "I have as much right to be here as you do." Duo couldn't hold back the bitter peal of laughter that rose in his throat. The sound seemed to unnerve Relena a little but she wasn't the Vice Foreign Minister for nothing and firmly held her ground.

"Like hell you do Darlian."

"I was Heero's friend too Duo."

"No you weren't." Duo's response was immediate and deadly serious. "You were an annoyance at best. He tolerated you because he had to."

"That's _not _true!" Relena growled. She knew what Heero had felt for her.

"Yes it is."

"How can you say something so horrible?" Her cry rang through the silent morgue and down the hallway.

"Because its true!" Duo didn't mean to scream back but his words had the desired effect of making the insistent girl be silent, at least for a moment.

"You should leave Maxwell." Her tone was lined with pure ice when she did regain her voice. "I want to say goodbye to Heero then meet with Lady Une so we can decide what needs to be done for his funeral and I don't want you around to screw things up."

"So you can decide?" Duo felt his body go cold and stiff as he stared at the young woman in disbelief. He felt absolutely numb in the wake of her words. A second bark of hollow laughter escaped his throat and his hands balled into fists at his sides. He wasn't going to let her just waltz in here and rip his responsibility away from him. "Lucky for Heero its not your decision to make." He muttered.

"What did you say?" Relena demanded

"I said that it's not up to you!" He was shouting again and he struggled to get his anger under control. He was momentarily hyper aware of the knife in his boot but stamped down hard on the urge to draw it. Killing her would net him nothing but more heartache. To stave off the urge he balled his hands into even tighter fists and he was so angry that it barely registered when his nails pierced the soft flesh of his palms.

"Then pray tell Maxwell. Who _is _it up to? _You_?" Her tone was heavy with mocking and she continued on without realizing that she had answered her own question. "You would probably just have him cremated then have the ashes spread in space."

"You're right, that's exactly what I'm going to do." An eerie kind of calm replaced his anger as he leaned over the exam table that separated them. He hung his head and felt his braid fall over his shoulder. "I think he would actually like that your Highness." Sarcasm dripped from his words as he looked at her again and when he smirked there was no hint of humor in it. Relena actually took a step back this time and he wondered if she had finally realized that she wasn't dealing with the same happy go lucky Shinigami he had been during the wars. A softer, darker chuckle rippled through him and he looked at her through his bangs with eyes that were little more then violet slits. "It sounds about perfect."

"You have got to be joking." Relena tried to laugh off his comments but it sounded fake to both of them. "Even if it was up to you, which I'm sure it isn't, cremation is no way to honor a man like Heero. He deserves a real _funeral_! The _world _and the _colonies _deserve a chance to mourn him!" Her voice had slowly risen with each word and she looked more then ready to continue.

"That is _enough _Miss Darlian." The girl jumped at Commander Une's sudden interruption and spun to find both Lady Une and Sally hovering behind her. "I expect better behavior from someone who acts as a representative of both the Earth Sphere and the Colonies."

"L... lady Une, Sally please... I can explain." Duo's gaze flitted between the three women as Relena tried to apologize and he pushed himself away from the exam table so he could lean on the wall behind him. He crossed her arms over his chest and lifted one foot to press the sole of his boot against the metal. His hand went to his collar and he gently tugged the necklace with Heero's ring from under his shirt. The metal was warm between his fingers and he shivered a little then let it fall back against his chest with a soft thump.

"I don't need an explanation Miss Darlian. We could _hear _you _shouting _from Sally's office." Relena's cheeks went from flushed to deathly pale in an instant as she realized exactly how big a a fool she had made of herself.

"Commander I apologize." She said stiffly. Her eyes watered and the young man wanted nothing more then to hit her for daring to cry over Heero in front of him. Lady Une seemed unfazed by how close she was to tears and Sally seemed to be as equally repulsed by them as he was. "It's just... it's just that I want Heero to have the kind of funeral he deserves."

"I am not letting her turn Heero's funeral into some goddamn political stunt Commander!" Duo hadn't intended to speak but the words spilled from his throat with a hint of desperation. He wanted something small, with just their closest friends and acquaintances. He didn't want to have to hide that they had been married anymore and he would have to if Relena got her hand in things. The revelation would overshadow everything Heero's funeral was supposed to be about. "You knew Heero! You know how much he hated that shit. He just wanted to be left alone!"

"I understand Duo." Lady Une gave him a sympathetic look then turned her hardened gaze on Relena. The girl seemed to realize that she was fighting a losing battle but pushed on with her argument anyway.

"Heero needs to have a real funeral Lady Une! He needs to be honored for all he did to make our peace a reality!" Lady Une was clearly not in the mood to take her words to heart.

"The arrangements for Heero's funeral will be made at Duo's discretion not yours. I'm sorry if his ideas are not what you had in mind."

"But why?" Relena cried. Her hands bundled into tight little fists at her sides and she turned to give the former Deathscythe pilot a scalding glare. "What gives him the right to make those choices?"

"Heero was my husband. That's why he quit working for you. He... he asked me to marry him and I said yes." Duo silently cursed himself for the way his voice quivered and he wiped at his eyes furiously. He was not going to cry in front of her. "There is no way in hell I'm letting you turn his funeral into a media circus. I don't want people there who didn't even know him."

"YOU'RE LYING!" Relena roared suddenly. She stalked across the room to stand in front of him and Duo saw her eyes widen a little when she saw Heero's ring hanging around his throat. It was obvious to Duo that she had seen it before but had never understood what it meant till now.

"You can ask Commander Une if you don't believe me. She officiated the ceremony for us."

"He would _never _marry a street whore like you! _Never!_" A hysterical edge had crept into her words and Duo froze in disbelief as she actually called him a whore to his face. Her fist was suddenly crashing towards him and Duo was so shocked by her accusation that he barely had time to turn his head enough to avoid the blow. The former Queen of the World's face twisted in shock as her hand collided with the metal wall behind him and she crumpled to the ground in tears as she cradled her broken fingers. "You bastard! You stole him from me you bastard! How could you? He would have loved me if it wasn't for you!" She whimpered miserably. Duo watched her cry in silence for a long moment then dropped down to her eye level and palmed his knife from his boot. The press of the blade against her throat made her still and she looked up at him with huge tear filled eyes.

"I never sold my body for _anything!" _He hissed softly. "Not even when I was _starving." _The blade slipped back into his boot easily and he stood gracefully. "L2 made me a damn good thief but even I can't steal something that never belonged to someone. Heero never loved you. The most he ever felt towards you was obligation. He knew that the longer you lived the more stable the peace would become and all he wanted was to not have to fight anymore so he could have the life he wanted with _me_." He was across the morgue in an instant and nodded silently to Lady Une and Sally as he passed them. "Thank you for interceding and taking my side Commander. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome Duo. She should never have gotten down here without an escort. I apologize." Duo nodded in acceptance of her words and turned his attention to Sally.

"Heero and I were both colony born. It seems appropriate to have him cremated. You can call my cell or the apartment when the arrangements are made. I want the funeral to be as small as possible, just like our wedding was. It is what Heero would want."

"I'll call you when the arrangements are made. If you would like I can also arrange a burial plot in the military cemetery where Treize was laid to rest? It won't be anything elaborate. " Duo thought the request over for a moment then nodded a little.

"That's probably right too." He admitted after a long pause. The idea of having an actual grave marker even if Heero wasn't buried there satisfied the last objections to cremation that had still resided in his mind. It was the little of both he had wanted but not known how to satisfy. "It'll give the others someplace to mourn too." He added softly.

"I'm sure Wufei and the others will appreciate that." Sally agreed. She glanced down at Relena who was still curled around her hand and sighed. "I should tend to her Duo, I'm sorry." Duo shrugged nonchalantly.

"It was her decision to try and hit me." He said coldly. "Go ahead and do what you need to do." He glanced back at Relena's crumpled form a final time then ghosted past Lady Une and headed down the hall. He wanted nothing more then to go home, even if going home meant he had to face an apartment that he no longer had to share and a reality that he was still trying to avoid.

_//Don't forget you need to call Howard too Kid.//_ Duo silently agreed with the voice in his head and jogged down the hall towards the elevator.

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**SO... how did the chapter go over for everybody? Was it too much? Too little? Was Relena crazy enough for all of your tastes? Lemme know what you think. I appreciate it.**

**Chapter Preview: Duo goes back to his apartment and contacts Howard to let him know about Heero. **


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